Hey there everyone…
It has been quite some time since my last blog. I’ve been aware of this over the last couple of weeks. In some respects I’ve been busy…and in others I’ve been watching the world.
So…my MS improved enough for me to plan a solo trip, by coach, to see friends and some family. This was a big thing for my confidence to embark upon however it helped that I felt my health was up to this fun challenge. My sanity needed to get out and do stuff. So I bought a suitcase on wheels and some good walking sticks…oh and a three-in-one jacket. All to make things easier and for me to blend in somewhat. I had a great time and although I had to abort my trip a day early due to health, I am incredibly proud and chuffed with the whole trip. I strained my neck which led to MS symptoms flaring up. I spent the next week in bed and in communication with the MS nurses. It was seeming like I had relapsed. I had some quality time resting in bed, making sure I had some laughter therapy and reflecting on my recent adventures. This week I went to see an MS doctor whom assessed me with regards to steroids if it was a relapse. We were delighted to hear that the steroids will not help and the side effects may make me worse – as I am not experiencing a relapse. Woohoo. It was explained that due to my slightly weak and arthritic neck – when I was away and looking at an amazing ceiling and weird new symptoms appeared – my MS symptoms had only been exasperated. I was informed that my MS is still as it was before and that over the next few weeks things will ease…and they are showing these signs. Obviously my relaxation from this news had quite an effect on my neck and shoulder muscles. The effects of worry of course just add to MS symptoms too.
Oh incidentally whilst I was in bed I was going through loads of thoughts about steroids and what it will mean to me. I had an NVC (Non-Violent Communication) session with my sister Sarah to clarify my needs and subsequently my concerns with what steroids and other MS drugs mean to me. I realised that I was looking for hope and expecting that the drugs will be the miracle management programme. My final wake up call was when I read that steroids do not effect the results from the relapse. I realised that taking steroids will not effect my biggest fear…a ticking time bomb and adding pressure upon myself to make the most of my life whilst I’m able to. My NVC guidance was also for me to accept indecision as being an okay emotion; to realise that this is all new and that it is part of self discovery; to learn to be gentle on myself.
To go easy on yourself has to be such a loving gift which you can freely give to yourself, when you choose to.
Our life is about discovery and happiness.
Let’s enjoy our unique journey.