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For The Greater Freedom

It’s just dawned on me that I’m actually limiting my independent travel. I’ve realised that independent trips out have been too controlled by my choice of equipment to hand. Recently I’ve felt so happy with being able to walk a bit, and thus proud of this ability, that I’ve been using my rollator as much as possible. However on reflection of this when travelling solo I now realise that by using the rollator I’m actually reducing my freedom. I can cover a much further distance in the wheelchair. And so I think that now the novelty and perhaps the self-proving stage has passed, I can get on with using what works best in what situation. It’s quite a minefield to process…so I’m currently awake in the middle of the night needing to clarify things and create clear waters.

When travelling on my own and relying on public transport the wheelchair enables me to wander a few miles and also catch the commercial bus – which in turn means I can be spontaneous with when and where I go. It means that I can get to a bus stop and feel one of the masses…and preferably move to a regular seat in order to face forwards. When being taken out in the car and accompanied, the rollator provides the ideal apparatus for walking with someone, having an eye level experience and with easier access to buildings; blending in to the crowd and having the safety of someone being able to move the car to pick me up.

Is this feeling like a step backwards? Perhaps so however if I’m to maximise my benefits in life then I need to focus on looking at the situation from the aspect of greater freedom and independence – and this means that I can go out more. I’ve actually realised that since using the rollator and travelling independently I’ve only gone out three times (by community bus) – twice to go directly to an office to volunteer and the other time was yesterday to get to my dentist appointment. With my brain processing all sort of activities in town and preparing for an appointment I found this experience to have been slightly limiting. Deep down I knew that being in the wheelchair will have improved my trip. Yes, sure, with the rollator I was standing up and able to take my time however the wheelchair does provide me with a more comfortable experience overall. Which in turn gives me more freedom, more independence, greater distances…and therefore more accessibility.

It seems that there is always more to learn about having such a variable disease. There is a lot of safety to take on board in order to keep my health at optimum levels. Changes can occur at almost any moment – reminding me that life is always changing, whatever our situations and capabilities, and whatever our choices. My advice to myself is to accept the modes of mobility transport with flexibility and focus on the objective. So as I process this I hope to see the wider opportunities grow.

shoe wheelI’m still doing well on the Wahls Protocol; my training programme continues to work for me and my muscles gaining strength; my relaxation techniques being just that; my cooking skills increasing as I experiment with baking options and gain confidence. My overall happiness is glowing and growing. Also as a couple, our lives are changing so much – for the better. We went out cycling at the weekend, and with the exception of the biggest hill, I realised that I was grinning for the whole trip…the enormity of happiness was far beyond my expectations. I’m very much enjoying sharing my journey with people – sharing this good news is such an energy magnet for everyone. Thank you for being part of my happiness and success.


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Total Rebuild

I’ve been wondering, for a while now, what to entitle this blog. I want to summarise myself being rebuilt, reprogrammed, rediscovered. Perhaps like a new town being created brick by brick.

So…I’ve been busy with the training programme which has had to change equipment due to my improved health. Yes the wheelchair accessible medical cycle machine kept needing to cool down so I knew it was time to change. Albeit with a proud smile that my fitness and strength is improving more and more. We now have a treadmill which provides me with safe side bars for learning how to walk. My pelvis has started to adjust to this new way of moving, along with my legs building up their muscles for the weight bearing stuff. I also have started cycling out in the real world…quiet lanes and off road. The latter was taking my MS symptoms out of their comfort zone, along with my sensory processing too. However this was fun and really began to help me become distracted from fear of a new unknown life. Yep…as weird as this may sound to some, to others it may make sense. I’ve spent nearly all of my life with medical issues and am fortunate for this change…however long it will last. I still use my wheelchair for going out – for safety, distance and whilst having to process all sorts. I recently purchased a rollator, after tons of research for aesthetic and practical reasons. So far I’ve used it twice.

The food situation has been a pain in the arse for me and my IBS has been challenged so much due to many new food alternatives. My IBS had been increasing in symptoms over the years and then it improved when I went on the Wahls Protocol. Then something was consumed which knocked my digestive system…my ultra sensitive gut started a ropey journey. I tried a low-FODMAP diet for the recommended six weeks which helped. Although my taste buds and enjoyment for food had a different view. And now…I’m back on the extra diet and this time eliminating almond milk too. I do have peaks and troughs with attitude to tolerating the absent tastes…I’m human. Anyways…today I’m fine so we’ll move on now!

My weight loss has been an interesting journey…a subject of which I have not really thought about until spring time this year when I began to change shape. With the results of double diet, I’m frequently in the charity shops rebuilding a wardrobe in a smaller size. It’s so weird looking in the mirror and learning to recognise my [new] self, however it is a lovely bonus on top of the long list of wonderful changes.

Wow…life is becoming life…a new one that feels so so foreign to me –  overwhelming and also hugely fantastic! I’ve just started volunteering out in the real world, away from virtual work. It’s great. I feel like I am living in a surreal world. Perhaps a movie can be made…any takers?!!

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I love this photo and it says so much about how I feel…as I start to socialise, feel free, awaken and feel ready to enjoy this new life which is the best present to ever ever have.